​On Eating Crow

Do you like the taste of crow? I don’t. 

“I was wrong” may be the most difficult words to utter. But every strong communicator knows you need to eat crow from time to time if you want to maintain a reputation for integrity.

Just to be sure we are all on the same page, the expression “eating crow” means that one publicly and unequivocally confesses that he or she was completely wrong on a particular matter, especially a matter where he or she has taken a strong position.

It’s not easy. Admitting to yourself that you screwed up is hard enough, but to admit it to the world is a hundred times harder. Who wants to look like a fool?

We fear that confessing to a muck-up will damage our reputation and leave us feeling humiliated. The opposite is true-- eating crow will strengthen your reputation for integrity and let you keep your head high. More important, eating crow can allow the re-set of a relationship. But it must be done right.                

How is eating crow “done right”? Let’s consider some propositions:

1.  Eat the right crow. Be careful that you apologize for the exact wrong you’ve committed, no more, no less. Don’t try to get off easy, but don’t overdo it, either. An overblown apology will be seen as insincere. Be proportionate.

2.  Don't eat chicken and pretend it's crow. This is no time to be cute. Don't say what you don't mean.

3.  Crow does not pair with whine. If you're going to be grown-up about this, stop whimpering.

4.  If the crow is especially tough, marinate it in sage advice. The tougher the crow you need to eat, the more you need wise counsel.

5.  Eat the crow at the right time. Fresh crow is generally better, but sometimes it needs to age a little. Get a second and third opinion on this.

6.  Don't share the crow. If you try to blame someone else, in whole or in part, you’ll look like a weasel. If someone else should be eating his own crow, that’s his business. This crow is only about you and your integrity.

7.  Don't waste the dinner. If your subsequent actions give lie to your words, you’ve eaten a crow in vain.

8.  Don’t eat the same crow twice. Reflect on how you got here and what you’ve learned. Make the personal or institutional change necessary so you never have to worry about eating this crow or any of his close relatives.