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The Great Croaking Lizard of Death and Other Lies

20/4/2017

3 Comments

 
Picture
When they were quite young my kids believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Great Croaking Lizard of Death (who lived under the bridge near the ice cream store). I funded the Tooth Fairy to ensure credibility, and the cost of maintaining Santa Claus nearly got out of hand.

I’m willing to bet that if you are a parent, you’ve lied to your kids about all these, except maybe for the Lizard. 

I’m also willing to bet that you’ve lied in answer to the questions “Do you think this makes me look fat?”, “Isn’t that the most adorable baby?” and “Do you have any spare cash?”

We all lie. Believe me, it’s the truth. Lies are part of our tool-kit. 

But are lies always OK? Never OK? Are there rules of engagement when lying?

When Mark Twain said “A lie is an abomination unto the LORD, but a very present help in time of trouble”, he put his finger on the issue: lies are intrinsically immoral, but they are useful.

Let me suggest a test for whether or not fibbing crosses the line: if it is calculated to provoke a response which is beneficial to you and detrimental to the other person, then the lie is a black one and not a white one.

That said, even if this test is accepted, there are caveats. The first is that society and regulators have put such a premium on truthfulness in certain situations that penalties are attached to untruthfulness whether or not damage arises. Lawyers, engineers, architects, doctors and most other professions are absolutely rigid in their standards of truthfulness (lawyer jokes notwithstanding) because public welfare depends on it. If an engineer says that a bridge is safe, the world relies on her professional integrity. As a lawyer I am obliged to disclose cases which are against my position as well as favourable ones. Justice relies on fairness.

Another caveat is that we become what we do. Lies are like alcohol or junk food-- a little is of no great harm, but you can quickly find yourself too comfortable and too reliant. One of the disciplines of a good life is the discipline of truthfulness. Like choosing the stairs instead of the elevator, you know that you will be a better person for accepting the consequence of telling the truth rather than slinking away with a lie.

Thirdly, all of our important personal and professional relationships rely on reliance. Our spouses, our business partners, our clients and our employees expect that what we say can be trusted. If that fails, relationships fail.

But what about the "Elephant in the Room", Donald Trump?. “The Donald” lied outrageously during his campaign and continues to lie shamelessly. He doesn’t even try to be consistent-- he lies about his lies. And yet he got to be the President of the United States of America. Doesn’t that prove that lying works? 

No. It doesn’t, and it won’t. It will end badly for him, and perhaps for all of us. The laws of nature always prevail. 

Watch for an upcoming comprehensive discussion about how key elements of society set themselves up to make Donald Trump inevitable by normalizing their respective self-serving untruths. Believe me!


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3 Comments
Ross Scott
23/4/2017 11:20:51

But, what point are you trying to make? Barack Obama lied shamelessly and repeatedly (you can keep your doctor and plan). During her campaign for president, Hillary Clinton lied as a way of life, not only to the American people, but also to Congress (she should have been indicted but was not). President Bill Clinton lied under oath, was impeached (not convicted) and his ratings went up and he got reelected. I am not sure that these individuals got what they deserved. Nor was justice done. Why pick on Trump?

Reply
Norman Bowley
23/4/2017 21:52:43

Ross, your point is well made, and I agree-- Western politicians have become increasingly slippery and cynical. My view is that Trump has shed any veneer, he doesn't even try to pretend to care for you or for me. I'm working on a paper which argues that we have got what we deserve.

Reply
Ross Scott
24/4/2017 03:42:22

Looking forward to reading about it on your blog, Norm. Nice set up. Thanks for putting me on the list.




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    Norman Bowley teaches the Alignment Doctrine and the Client Code-- secrets to building the professional practice you and your clients deserve.

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  • Home
    • Video >
      • The Alignment Doctrine
    • Communication >
      • Elements >
        • The Golden Rule
        • The Five Essential Qualities
        • The Five Essential Questions
        • The Five Step Cycle
        • The Ten Commandments
        • The Ten Sources of Authority
      • Modules >
        • Modules A-M >
          • Avoiding amateurism
          • Change: Understanding It, Facing It, Profiting From It
          • Communication for Long Term Relationship
          • Communications Horror Stories
          • Communications that blow up in your face
          • Communicating toward success
          • Earning the Right to Be Heard
          • Gerunds, Mesolects and Other Arcane Terms of Art
          • Having a Toad Day
          • Healthy Fear
          • Hippos and Raccoons-- Deadly Underestimation
          • How I Moved From Doing What I Liked to Doing What I Loved
          • How to Be on the Same Wavelength as Your Audience
          • How to Pick Up a Porcupine-- Dealing With Difficult People
          • Key of Trust
          • Manipulation
          • Mastering the Technologies
          • Mining the Subconscious
        • Modules N-Z >
          • Quick and Dirty-- the 80/20 Rule
          • Sabotaging Your Message
          • Scar Tissue
          • Secrets of the Druids
          • Some Specific Approaches to Communications
          • Specific audiences
          • Symbolism-- the Heart of the Communicative Process
          • Talking to Yourself and Why You Should Do It
          • The Difference Between Leadership and Management
          • The Eyes Eat First
          • The Eyes Have It
          • The Lizard Within-- What Your Reptilian Brain Makes You Do
          • The Media of Communication
          • The Respect Deficit
          • The Secret of Authenticity
          • Thinking About the Kinds of English
          • Websites, Blogs and Newsletters
          • When you don't have time to plan
          • When You'd Rather Shoot Yourself
          • Who's your audience? Targeted communication.
      • About us >
        • Karen Bowley
  • Norman Bowley
  • FREE
  • Services
    • Keynote Speaking
    • Training
    • Coaching
    • Troubleshooting
    • Consulting
    • Writing >
      • Ghost Writing
      • Transitional Ghost Writing
  • Testimonials
  • Blog